Saturday, January 2, 2010

New Years Resolutions

Well, it's a new year and it's that time again for resolutions. This year the ones I've decided on are probably some of the most difficult ones I've ever decided on.

The first one, well, I try to do it every year, but somewhere down the line, I just don't keep going and that's lose weight and get healthier. I did lose a little weight last year, but towards the end of the year, well, I quit exercising, ate what I wanted and the weight came back. I guess I just have to keep trying, that's the point of resolutions isn't it? Whenever you get off track you get back on track and keep trying until it becomes a habit and you don't have to think about doing it anymore. I need to keep exercising until it's a daily habit, until taking the dog for a walk becomes normal and until riding my bicycle becomes fun and not a chore. Until choosing to eat healthier foods is enjoyable and I don't grab food just because it's quick to fix or that it's something that I can get the kids to eat. They need to learn to eat healthier too and I need to set a good example for them. That's resolution number one.

Resolution number two, well, it's a little more complex, but I've decided I'm not going to wait anymore. Now I know you're wondering what that means, it just means that I'm not waiting on anyone anymore. I've spent a lot of time the last year being told to "wait until I'm off", or "wait until I'm feeling better", or "wait and see", that sort of thing. I've missed out on a lot of stuff because someone wanted to wait until it was his weekend off and I'm done waiting.

I'm not going to wait anymore for someone to be off so that the yardwork can get done, it may totally exhaust me and give me a heartattack, but I'm not going to wait on something that never gets done because something usually happens to prevent someone from doing what he said he would do anyway.

I'm not going to wait anymore for someone to figure out how to cut a hole in the wall, install a window and move the window a/c unit because "I need to do a little research first on it". I'm sorry, but DIY Network has all the step by step info. on their site on how to install a window, it' doesn't look that difficult, we have all the tools on hand and I've used a jig saw, a hammer, nails, screws and a screwdriver, what is the problem? So, no more waiting on that either.

I'm not waiting on someone to offer to do anything either, because I've been waiting on that for years now and it's not going to happen. Also I'm not going to tell someone to do things ever again. He calls it "nagging" even if I only ask twice, once to say what needs to be done and then again as a reminder on the day he is off when he said he would do it and it's 1/2 way through the day and he hasn't even started yet.

I know, I sound mean and awful, but there are times that I've put off doing things with just me and the kids because I thought that this certain someone would want to spend time with me and the kids doing some of the various things I've asked him to do. Take raking leaves and putting out Christmas decorations for example.

I had asked him to do it the week after Thanksgiving when he was off, I used the time to go do Chrismas shopping so I was gone for at least 3 hours, plenty of time for them to do some good yardwork and have fun putting out the Christmas decorations. Well, I was "nagging" again, so he only did a 1/2 assed job, left piles of leaves on the yard, only put up 2 strings of lights around 2 of our 5 trees, didn't check the bulbs on the ones he strung along the sidewalk and, from what the kids said, complained the whole 30 minutes or so he was out there. When I came home, he was sitting on his butt in front of his computer, the kids had made a mess throughout the rest of the house and I was heartbroken cause he had missed out on what I would consider a fun time playing outside with the kids.

It breaks my heart seeing that my husband doesn't seem to want to spend any time with our children, doesn't want to spend time with me, doesn't want to help make our house into the home that I know it can be turned into, doesn't seem to want to do much of anything but sit on his ass in front of his computer.

So like I said I've decided not to wait anymore, I'm not waiting anymore on my husband. This morning the kids and I went outside, raked the leaves, put them in the compost pile and had fun! My husband did not join us, I don't know what he did, but I decided I wasn't waiting on him to join us, if he wanted to, he could have, but he didn't. It hurts me deeply not knowing what to do to get my husband more involved with us on his 6 days off a month, but he sees things differently then I do.

Raking leaves and being outside with the kids to me is something that not only makes the house look nice, but also is a chance to have fun with the kids, to him, it's all a chore. To me going for a walk with the kids and dog is a chance to talk with the kids, play with the dog and have fun, for him, it's a chore. For me working on the house and making it look nice is a chance to spend time with my husband as partners working toward a common goal, for him, it's a chore.

So, since everything is a chore for him, well, I just won't give him anymore chores. I'll do everything, I guess, like I said, no more waiting on things to get done. If I want something done, I'll do it when I want it done, no more waiting on someone else to do it, especially if I can do it myself. It will take some work on my part not to ask if he would like to do this, or do that, or if he can help me with this or that. In the end I think I'll be the one getting the better deal, I'll be the one spending more time with the kids and making our house into my home. Oh well, his loss my gain!

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